I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
