Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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