Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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