I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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