I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
