so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Randomize
