He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
