you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
