You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
