u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
