The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
