When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
