I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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