I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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