Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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