i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
