We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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