Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
