During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
