Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just invented taco cereal.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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