Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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