it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
