What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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