um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize