So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize