i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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