clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So much rum. So many feels.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
