There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
