There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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