they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize