so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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