He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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