love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
