Are we in a gay sports bar?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
