What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
