What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
