I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
