I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
