there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
