'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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