did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
