I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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