and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
