I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
