I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize