Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize