His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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