yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
