I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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