hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You pole danced in your parka.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize