I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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