Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
