how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it was like eating out sand paper
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
