OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize