I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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