She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
